columbus' hardcore future

FOUND KIDS TALKING SOOO MUCH SHIT ON ATTACK ATTACK ON B9..UM EMBARASSING

OH JUST WAIT TIL 2:50

jesus, what the hell did I just watch? What's up with Columbus kids and this metalcore garbage? I'm so glad all those metalcore kids stay away from real hardcore shows.

Check their top friends, some band called Legion from Hilliard, someone should convince the good Legion band to sue them, or furthermore convince them to stop existing.

Nto the future of Hardcore just a bunch of kids and Christian Music.

I knew Austin witch is confusing me I don't see him in that video.

Am I missing some Austin leave his band or something?

CHUNK wrote:Nto the future of Hardcore just a bunch of kids and Christian Music.

I knew Austin witch is confusing me I don't see him in that video.

Am I missing some Austin leave his band or something?

yes he went on to form some other horrible band on rise records

this band and these children are an affront to good music

That's really bad.

i don't get it..... why are they so popular?!?! i heard they are on warped tour and kids are losing their minds over these "guys" (they are dudes, right?).

brice-DMC- wrote:i don't get it..... why are they so popular?!?! i heard they are on warped tour and kids are losing their minds over these "guys" (they are dudes, right?).

All you got to do is Label yourself as "christian"

Devil Wears Prada
As I lay Dying

Other big bands with the "christian" message.


I didn't know Austin was out of the band.

Joe said they are still under contract so he still makes money off the band.

Thats got to rule.

Fucking Faggots.............................

Empire is changing its name to Empire Empire!

xAARONxDMC wrote:Fucking Faggots.............................

faggots don't play music like this aaron.

christian huh? i bet these pretty boys bang more chicks than all the god-free youth combined in columbus. i'm kinda diggen the music though.

PaulVSE wrote:christian huh? i bet these pretty boys bang more chicks than all the god-free youth combined in columbus. i'm kinda diggen the music though.

Actually someone got kicked out of this band for bangin girls and getting drunk. Sooooo NO, they don't bang more girls then anyone. Good try Paul!

another funny gif

i couldnt help it...

if by chicks you mean, each other then you're prob right


zach

PaulVSE wrote:christian huh? i bet these pretty boys bang more chicks than all the god-free youth combined in columbus. i'm kinda diggen the music though.

your team paul!

Did anybody else read this review of the attack attack video?

http://www.buddyhead.com/buddyhead-newsgossip-%E2%80%93-07072009/


We know we’ve inflicted a lot of pain on you kids lately with the numerous crimes against music we’ve unearthed since the ‘head has gone back to being cybersexually active. Believe it or not, we usually listen to music we actually LIKE, but these things just keep finding their way to us like crabs find their way into Amy Winhouse’s pubes. Every time we think we’ve seen the worst of it, some new atrocity comes along and makes us want to start a fistfight with our parents for bringing us into a world where such things can happen. Buckle up kiddies cause we’re about to show you proof that civilization itself is ending – Attack Attack! video:

Where the fuck do we even start with this? We had to send this video to other people just to make sure we’re seeing what we think we’re seeing and aren’t trapped in some nightmare. Seriously, we’re about to go off and play for keeps on this one, but whatever disses we have to follow won’t be enough, so pile on in the comments cause this shit needs to be nuked across America.

Ok let’s break this down (for best results watch clip while reading):

0:01 – The video just started and we already know it’s gonna suck because there is a lone lip pierced girl sitting in the middle of nowhere. Videos that feature some gothed up bleeder looking fragile and bummed as the main character are ALWAYS shitty. ALWAYS. We defy you to find a good one.

0:06-0:20 – Yep, as we expected, the chick was a bad omen. The “song” just kicked off in soul crushing fashion with a cookie monster “yow” and the entire band sporting stage moves that look like a cross between masturbating bear from Conan O’Brien and a fucking hermit crab. Do you realize how many friends and family members could have pulled these clowns aside and been like “Dudes, your band already sucks, let’s maybe not compound the problem by playing like you’re shitting a guitar out of your mangina”? Apparently no one felt like doing that. What that means is all of these dudes seriously have zero people in their lives that care for them and probably many that want to see them humiliate themselves on television. Bleak. Hilarious.

0:36 – …and now we’ve shifted from death grunts to singing. How fresh! Way to crowbar in that transition too there fellas! Excellent song craft, doesn’t sound forced at all. You might not have gotten the memo that was circulated circa 2002, but the screamer/singer thing sucked back when it was emo bands doing it. 7 years and a pinch of death metal didn’t sweeten the mix any.

0:58 – Synchronized guitar lifts? Were you felch-fiends male cheerleaders or something? Did you start a band after you realized all the girl cheerleaders fuck football players, not pussies who like to choreograph things?

1:01-1:06 – Fucking BUNNY HOPS?!?!?!?! This is where we started shouting at our computer and dropping the bottles of beer we were holding in pure astonishment.

1:17-1:18 – Remember 11 seconds ago when you thought the bunny hops were the worst thing that had ever happened to your eyes? Well, the fucktard with the blond streak in his hair playing guitar next to the chubby keyboard player just blew your mind. Full crab position, shifting the weight side to side like he’s stretching either for a track meet or the world anal penetration record, guitar at penis level, looking right at you and NODDING! As if he’s going “Yep, this is happening. You can’t stop it”.

1:36-1:38 – The lead grunter is running in place while reaching his hand out and screaming. That’s actually a good call tubby, you should do more running like that, you know, on a treadmill. Who knows, maybe then you’d have a chance with the girl in your own video. Why you got your hand reached out though dude? Is the director holding out a can of Funfetti cake frosting or something? Whatever keeps you motivated I guess.

1:42-1:45 – Yet another seamless musical transition. Seriously, did you guys tab out 50 shitty riffs, put them in a hat and arrange this song in the order they were picked? We’ve see Latin American coups accomplish smoother transitions than this.

2:31-2:32 – Even the girl that’s being paid to be in this video can’t stand this shit anymore, she’s covering her ears now and then firing her agent later.

2:46-3:18 – This is where we started Googling the word “Hitman”. Everything that’s happened before has been prelude to this moment. After winning the gold medal at Lame Breakdown Olympics, these dudes follow it up at the 2:46 mark firing off the notes of music which must surely trumpet the end of days. From shitty deathcore right into Jock Jams territory without even batting an eye. Golly. Cue the shot of the entire band running in place in UNISON. Where’s the clip of some French dude scoring in a soccer game? The best part is you know these fucks thought they were really onto something when they wrestled this part onto end of the song. That keyboard player totally creams his jeans every time this part happens thinking to himself “Ok fat/shitty keyboard player, this is your moment to shine”. After all of that, just as a little cherry on top, we get the “singer” guitar player
weeping about some bullshit with the autotune dimed on his vocal track like this was some cracker version of a T-Pain song.

3:24 – Ok, it’s over. We’re exhausted and pretty certain we’ve now got cancer just from watching this video. That’s all we’ve got in us, but help us get unmerciful in the comments kids. We’re pretty sure every second of this song has a dis with its name on it, so bring it. We’re gonna go huff a 30 pack of Glade cans in the hope we might annihilate the brain cells that processed this video.